Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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