16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
