Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
