I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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