She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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