i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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