Me too!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
