There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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