Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Terrible idea I love it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
