I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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