i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
