I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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