Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
