i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
