i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
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What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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