you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
