Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize