they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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