The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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