i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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