You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
