ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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