Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
