when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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