That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
