never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
