I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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