I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
