I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
