i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
