He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
