The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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