She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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