If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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