they need to just BURY HIM!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So vagazzling was a success
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize