You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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