Duck Duck Cougar?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
