Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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