I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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