their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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