I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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