I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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