dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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