Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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