Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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