i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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