I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
