He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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