I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize