Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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