Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
