dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
