oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
