Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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