If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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