I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize