this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
