Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize