I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
send nudes
from the living room?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
