it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
