You really coming over, don't trick.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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