Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We are two peas in an std pod
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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