Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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