I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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