remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
